I recently changed my birth control method from pills to an IUD. Over the course of many years, I’ve used every method except Norplant (which always scared me) and sterilization. My favorite has been NuvaRing, but because I suffer from migraines and have a family history of high blood pressure, it was determined that I shouldn’t use it.

My doctor told me that the IUD is a good option for me as long as I am in a monogamous relationship. Well, my theory on monogamy is that the only person that I can guarantee is being monogamous is me (that’s another post.) Nevertheless, I decided to step out on (faith?) and believe that I am being honored with the same level of fidelity that I am bestowing upon the person that I have been dating for a year. (If you read my ‘Unhappy Valentine’s Day’ post, you’ll realize the irony in the timing of this.) To that end, I opted to go with the IUD because 1) I’m horrible at remembering to take pills and 2) due to my insurance company’s arbitrary rules I could only get a certain number of pill packs at a time – no matter how the prescription was written. Highly annoying.

For those who don’t know, an IUD (intrauterine device) is is a small t-shaped device that is inserted through the cervix and placed in the uterus to prevent pregnancy. The kind that I chose prevents pregnancy for five years. One shot deal – five years of protection..sounded like a good deal to me. Well, without being overly graphic, suffice it to say the past week has been trying. I’ve been feeling none too well. I figure my body just needs to get used to this newly placed object. I told a friend today that I wasn’t feeling well due to the IUD and her immediate response was “Why are you using birth control? You’re over 35!” Ok, well, damn. I know I have fewer eggs now, but I still have some and I’ll be damned if I’m trying to let them get fertilized. You see, the older I get, the more I develop a very (irrational?) fear of getting pregnant. I want absolutely NO parts of it. I love babies and if I like you enough, I’ll even babysit yours, but I certainly don’t want any of my own. At all. EVER. I explained to my friend that condoms slip, come off, break, etc. and for my own peace of mind, I need to use another method because I absolutely do not want to get pregnant.

Well, lo and behold, I get home and read this article on The Washington Post.com which basically states that I have nothing to worry about because I’ve already lost at least 90% of my eggs anyway. Well, my remaining 10% may be fighters, so I’m not taking any chances. I have two children already (a teen and a pre-teen) and I’m looking forward to an empty nest. Syndrome,schmindrome. “Fly away little birdies. Mama loves you!”

So, ok, maybe I don’t have anything to worry about. Maybe the few thousand eggs that I have left are happy to be left alone. Maybe I am being completely and totally irrational. But as long as the only four packs I’m buying are from Cinnabon and not Gerber, I’m ok with that.

Be who you want to be today.

…TMR…