Category: a day in the life


If you’ve been wondering why there haven’t been any recent posts, it’s because ms. rasberry’s world has moved. It’s now located at http://msrasberrysworld.com.

Be sure to check it out!

Be who you want to be today.

…ms. rasberry…

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I recently changed my birth control method from pills to an IUD. Over the course of many years, I’ve used every method except Norplant (which always scared me) and sterilization. My favorite has been NuvaRing, but because I suffer from migraines and have a family history of high blood pressure, it was determined that I shouldn’t use it.

My doctor told me that the IUD is a good option for me as long as I am in a monogamous relationship. Well, my theory on monogamy is that the only person that I can guarantee is being monogamous is me (that’s another post.) Nevertheless, I decided to step out on (faith?) and believe that I am being honored with the same level of fidelity that I am bestowing upon the person that I have been dating for a year. (If you read my ‘Unhappy Valentine’s Day’ post, you’ll realize the irony in the timing of this.) To that end, I opted to go with the IUD because 1) I’m horrible at remembering to take pills and 2) due to my insurance company’s arbitrary rules I could only get a certain number of pill packs at a time – no matter how the prescription was written. Highly annoying.

For those who don’t know, an IUD (intrauterine device) is is a small t-shaped device that is inserted through the cervix and placed in the uterus to prevent pregnancy. The kind that I chose prevents pregnancy for five years. One shot deal – five years of protection..sounded like a good deal to me. Well, without being overly graphic, suffice it to say the past week has been trying. I’ve been feeling none too well. I figure my body just needs to get used to this newly placed object. I told a friend today that I wasn’t feeling well due to the IUD and her immediate response was “Why are you using birth control? You’re over 35!” Ok, well, damn. I know I have fewer eggs now, but I still have some and I’ll be damned if I’m trying to let them get fertilized. You see, the older I get, the more I develop a very (irrational?) fear of getting pregnant. I want absolutely NO parts of it. I love babies and if I like you enough, I’ll even babysit yours, but I certainly don’t want any of my own. At all. EVER. I explained to my friend that condoms slip, come off, break, etc. and for my own peace of mind, I need to use another method because I absolutely do not want to get pregnant.

Well, lo and behold, I get home and read this article on The Washington Post.com which basically states that I have nothing to worry about because I’ve already lost at least 90% of my eggs anyway. Well, my remaining 10% may be fighters, so I’m not taking any chances. I have two children already (a teen and a pre-teen) and I’m looking forward to an empty nest. Syndrome,schmindrome. “Fly away little birdies. Mama loves you!”

So, ok, maybe I don’t have anything to worry about. Maybe the few thousand eggs that I have left are happy to be left alone. Maybe I am being completely and totally irrational. But as long as the only four packs I’m buying are from Cinnabon and not Gerber, I’m ok with that.

Be who you want to be today.

…TMR…

It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood! I am sitting here with 12 new magazines on my bed. Seven of them I purchased over the weekend and I received five of them in the mail. I am a self-proclaimed magazine fiend, so I am in – as they say – hog heaven! Oink, oink!

My mags of choice – InStyle, Essence, Body & Soul, Everyday with Rachael Ray, Clean Eating, Self and Vogue. The mail-ins – Elle, Food & Wine, Allure, GQ, Architectural Digest (even though I do adore interior design, I only get this b/c they sent it to replace my Domino subscription. I miss Domino!) Oh yeah, I also get HR Magazine. I’ll read that one last – LOL!

Be who you want to be today.

…TMR…

Well….it’s Valentine’s Day. I WISH I had a sweetheart to share the day…and the night…with; however, I don’t. Until very recently I was dating a man whom I adored. Too bad he didn’t adore me; so I had to let it go. It’s still fresh and it still hurts like hell. I was tempted to text him a “Happy Valentine’s Day” message earlier today, but I thought better of it. A friend told me about a party that’s going on later tonight. I’m thinking about going, but honestly, I’m not sure that I feel up to it. I’m not really the social butterfly and when I’m feeling down, I really don’t feel like being bothered with a bunch of strangers. Truth be told, even when I’m not feeling down, I usually don’t feel like being bothered with a bunch of strangers. On the other hand, I feel like I might as well get out of the house and mix & mingle. Not with the intention of trying to meet someone, but just so I don’t sit in the house and dwell on my recently lost love.

Ending a relationship at any time is painful, but ending one right before a “romantic holiday” is especially difficult. I already purchased personalized presents that I thoughtfully selected and was excited about giving to him. I drafted and re-drafted the message that I wrote inside of the card that it took me several trips to the store to select. (I have a thing about only giving cards that reflect how I truly feel, so in the end, I selected a blank card and wrote my own message.) I had a plan of how we would spend the evening (not the day because he gets his daughter on Sundays.) All of this, only to have everything fall apart, including my heart.

So what becomes of the broken-hearted on Valentine’s Day? Well, I woke up this morning wearing my “Love Bites” pajamas, so what does that tell you? I’m wondering if I should call or text him. Of course not. I’m wondering if he’s thinking about me. Of course not. I’m wondering if I should force myself to go to this dang party knowing that I don’t really want to go. Hmm, maybe. I’m thinking I’ll just stay home. After all, I went out last night to celebrate completing my 30 day challenge, that’s enough for one weekend. Right? I don’t know. I just don’t feel up to all of the pomp & circumstance that goes along with going out – picking out an outfit, doing makeup, etc. I just wanna relax. Oh – and in the words of Jill Scott, “I just wanna be loved. Like everybody else does. I just wanna be loved. I just wanna be loved.”

Be who you want to be today.

…TMR…

In early January, I decided to purchase a one month unlimited yoga package from a local bikram yoga studio. At the time, I figured I’d go a few times a week. After going everyday for a week, I decided to participate in a 30 day challenge. In order to successfully complete the challenge you must attend 30 classes within a period of 30 days. If you’ve ever taken a Bikram class you know how intense it is. I wasn’t sure if I could do it, but I wanted to try.

This wasn’t my first time trying Bikram. I did it in 2008 and had fabulous results. I became more toned, more flexible, had more balance and lost so much weight that I was the smallest that I’ve EVER been! At that time, I didn’t do a 30 day challenge – or any challenge. I went to class about 3-4 times/week.

I knew that this time around probably wouldn’t yield the exact same type of results, but I anticipated at least similar results. Well, color me shocked when at the end of my challenge, I had lost a whopping five (5) pounds and still couldn’t do certain poses or balance worth a damn. I know I’m a little bit older than I was in 2008 and I’m sure that my body has changed some, but this lack of any significant results was a MAJOR disappointment. I was pleased because I had accomplished my goal of completing the challenge; but other than that I didn’t feel any better off for it.

I know there must be a lesson to be learned in this. Not quite sure what it is yet.

I purposely told myself going in that I couldn’t expect the same results as I had the first time, but I think – no, I KNOW – that in the back of my mind I hoped that I would have the same results. Especially since I gained about 20 pounds over the course of 2009. (Don’t ask.) The thing is, it’s not just the lack of weight loss that upset me. It was also the fact that I couldn’t get into the poses (asanas) as well as I could before. Some of them, like Dandayamana – JanuShirasana (standing head to knee pose,) which I could do in 2008, I couldn’t do AT ALL this time around. Actually, I pretty much couldn’t do anything that involved balancing on one foot. My body just would NOT cooperate. I felt betrayed. I kept focusing on my standing knee, willing it to be “solid like a lamppost – you have no knee.” It just wouldn’t do it. Then when I could finally get my knee to stay solid, my foot started to quiver. It was a no-win situation for sure. Still, I hung in there and and for that, I am proud of myself. I’ve thrown in enough towels to build a mountain to rival Kilamanjaro. So even without achieving any results that can be noticed by sight, I know that I set out to do something and I did it. Yay me!

Bikram truly is addictive so I’m definitely going back. It’s also expensive so I won’t be going back too often. Going to a 6:15 a.m. class in the dead of winter is not super fun so I plan to do another challenge when the weather gets warmer. Wish me luck!

Be who you want to be today.

…TMR…

One of my goals for 2010 was to start blogging on a regular basis. Well, it’s mid-February and I haven’t done too well with that. I’m SO bad. I think I’m still falling prey to overthinking it. That and laziness. Although, to be fair, I tweet a lot, and Twitter is considered a micro-blog, so in a way, I have indeed kept my goal. Of course, what I was really referring to was this type of 140+ character blogging. Whenever I think about it, I ask myself “what do I have to say?” or “do I feel like turning on my computer?” I’m so crazy! The funny thing is, when I finally do sit down to write something, I come up with about five different things to speak on. So please don’t give up on me. I know I’m hella inconsistent, which I believe defeats the purpose of blogging, but I’m a non-traditionalist in general so why should this be any different?

Be who you want to be today.

…TMR…

{I originally posted this on my HR blog, but thought it would be appropriate  to post on this one as well.}

This picture is of my left forearm. As you can see, I have a tattoo. This is not my only one, but it’s by far the largest one. For now anyway. I love tattoos. I think they’re beautiful (most of them) and am always intrigued when I see someone with a full sleeve or other extraordinary body art.  I do; however, always find myself wondering what type of job the person has.

As the name of this blog denotes, I work in HR – your typical buttoned-down, PC, office type job.  I consider myself to be fairly conservative (not in the political sense) however, I have a healthy anti-authority streak and I’m far from PC.  This is a running joke between myself and one of my colleagues.  I’m something of a rebel with a cause.

I’ve had two recent experiences that have gotten me thinking about image in the workplace, especially as it relates to tattoos.  An intern that worked in our main office asked me about my tattoo. He said that he wanted to get one in the same location but was fearful of how it may affect his job prospects and asked me if it had affected mine.  I had to be real with him – it had never been a concern of mine. My feeling is that a job is just what I do during the day; I have to be ME 24/7. I wanted this tattoo so I got it. Quite frankly, any employer or client who chooses not to work with me because of it is not someone I want to work with anyway. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. It has no effect on how I do my job.

A few weeks ago, I co-presented an HR 101 seminar and one of the attendees asked about the risk of setting policies surrounding appearance, to include ‘no (visible) tattoos or piercings.’  My question to that person was “how is this job related?” The response: “Well, people with tattoos and piercings can be perceived negatively by customers.” Wow. Really? Of course, at the time I was wearing a suit, so the person did not realize that I have a tattoo.

Now, I’m no dummy – I realize that a lot of people associate body art with a (sub) counter-culture, but should people have to live their lives repressing their true nature because of that? Should someone be deemed unemployable because they want to express whatever it is they’re expressing on their bodies? I say a resounding “NO, NO, NO!”  There are so many much bigger things in the world to deal with; and when it comes to the business world, people should always and only be judged for their ability to perform.

I’m sure some people reading this will believe that I am biased on this issue because I have tattoos (and maybe also because I have bright red hair) but that is not the case at all. I just believe in a person’s right to exercise a freedom of personal appearance and not have it hinder his/her ability to make a living as he/she so desires.

Now, hygiene, that’s a different story- poor hygiene is just plain unacceptable!

Update: December 14, 2009- Last week the Washington Post ran an article about the acceptance, or lack thereof, of tattoos in the workplace in DC. A co-worker emailed it to all staff and a few of them (including the Pres/CEO) made comments basically agreeing with the mindset that people should cover up their tattoos at work.  I honestly took their response as a slap in the face b/c I DO NOT cover my tattoo at work, so everyone knows about it. I will continue to not hide it. I will wear it proudly and I will get more. It annoys me that people can be so small-minded on some issues.

Be who you want to be today.

…TMR…

For the past few weeks, casual phrases such as “Hello” and “Goodbye” have been replaced by “Happy Holidays.” Friends, co-workers, cashiers at the grocery store…everyone feels compelled to say “Happy Holidays” and of course, I respond with the obligatory “Happy Holidays” or “Same to you.”  I tell you, I can’t wait for the “holiday season” to be over. Dead.  Done with.

Outside of getting time off from work (which, believe me, is TRULY needed and appreciated) this time of year isn’t all that happy for me; and I know I’m not the only person who feels this way.  I can barely muster up the requisite “joy” for the sake of the children, which everyone is quick to inform me I must do.  Whatever. I stayed in my pajamas on Christmas day.

Don’t get me wrong – I know that I am blessed to have a home, food, clothing, a job, my physical health, etc. and I do not take any of that for granted at all. I am grateful everyday, even when it may not seem like it.  Still, the holidays serve as a huge reminder to me of what I no longer have – parents and a romantic relationship.  When I’m thinking of gift-giving, I can no longer wonder what to get my Dad, or if my Mom will like what I chose for her.  I have no significant other (not even any prospects) to gift with a sweater/watch/cologne/Kama Sutra kit.  I love my children; but they are no replacement/consolation for either.

I know I’m not the only one who doesn’t jump for joy around this time of year.  Some people have Seasonal Affective Disorder and thus for them, the issue is biological. For others, the holidays bring up a sense of loss and/or loneliness. For me, it’s probably a combination of the two. Some people feel financial pressure to gift more than they can afford. Whatever the reason, everybody’s holidays aren’t gonna be happy.

That ever present “Happy Holidays!” refrain can be almost as grating to my ears as the Salvation Army bell. (No disrespect, but that bell is annoying.) People say it on auto-pilot, just as they say “How are you?” knowing they don’t really care. I know people mean well; I’d just rather not hear it. I hate to sound like Scrooge or the Grinch – just keeping it real.

Be who you want to be today.

…TMR…

..Rodin’s ‘The Thinker’ and I have something in common. We both spend a lot of time thinking. Every few months I tell myself that I will get better with my blogging. So I put up a post, maybe two, with the full intention of making it a regular habit. Then I’ll think about it. On a regular basis I’ll say to myself “you should do a blog post today.” Days go by, then weeks, then months…and nothing. But I’m still thinking about it. Do you see a pattern developing? Between work and Twitter(I’m a serious Twitter addict) I’m on the computer all the time, but..nothing. Still thinking. It finally occurred to me today why this happens. I’m over thinking the art of blogging!

Years ago I bought a book called “Women Who Think Too Much” recognizing myself in the title. It occurred to me today that this habit of over thinking has inhibited my blogging. I keep thinking that I have to post these fascinating pearls of wisdom, these brilliant manifestos…when really,all I have to do is post whatever I feel like posting. I had this idea that I had to make my blog super interesting, super eloquent – SUPER everything, or else what’s the point? I finally had the light bulb moment today that I was completely missing the point. I can post a sentence, a paragraph, a photo – whatever. This blog is about me and my interests and whatever comes to mind. Now that I’ve broken through this mental block, you can expect to see many more posts. I’m so excited. I hope you are too.

Be who you want to be today.

…TMR…

menye07Ok, ok, I know it’s been a while – ok, a looong while, since my last blog post. And I know I said I would start blogging again in…when was that, August? April? Well, whenever it was, what I didn’t do then, I’m doing now. I’m back to blogging! My posts may be daily, weekly or anything in between. So look forward to reading my thoughts on….well, whatever I want! Yay!